View this design on +60 products.

View this design on +60 products.

Selecting a region may change the language and promotional content you see on the Adobe Stock web site. North America South America Europe, Middle East, and Africa Asia Pacific.

Can’t find what you’re looking for.

View this design on +66 products.

View this design on +66 products.

The diagram below is a taxonomy of liars, based on plotting their lies along two axes: their intended audiences (x-axis) and their subject matters (y-axis).

People can lie to two kinds of audiences: other people or themselves, and they can lie about two different kinds of things: facts (or what they believe to be facts) and their values. We all know what it looks like when people lie about facts, but how does one lie about their values.

According to Russ Harris, author of , values are “how we want to be, what we want to stand for, and how we want to relate to the world around us.” In my own words, values are attributes of the person you want to become. To state your values in the here-and-now is to commit yourself to being or doing certain things in the future.

What we mean is that who we are and what we do in the future will have been shaped by our adherence to these precepts.

We can now explore four types of liars:.

BOOST YOUR PRODUCTIVITY. LEARN HOW TO FINALLY CHECK OFF YOUR MOST IMPORTANT TASKS, WITH THE HYPERBOLIC DISCOUNTING WORKBOOK.

I don’t do the spam thing. Unsubscribe anytime.

Deceitful liars: those who lie to others about facts.

We’ve all done it. Children learn to lie around age three, and it’s part of normal human brain development.

Fortune teller gets into her client’s head in order to tell them what they want to hear. The good news is that we tend to grow out of telling childish lies for purely personal gain—for the most part.

When was the last time someone greeted you with, “How are you. ” and you responded with how you really felt.

” or “Fine. ” even if you were having an awful day.

Yes, it is technically deceitful, but since both parties know you’re not supposed to respond with any substantive truth, you do it anyway.

Telling a white lie about how your day is going. Imagine what would happen if you responded instead, “Well, the world is falling apart, I’m starting to question the purpose of my existence, and I’m feeling bloated from the kale salad I ate.

” In games like poker, being a skillful liar can help you win. In politics, knowing how and when to lie can be an advantage.

Habitual liars get labeled as untrustworthy and earn a bad reputation that often precedes them, especially in our hyperconnected age. Whether it’s checking out someone to date or do business with, our online profiles and social connections increasingly help people keep tabs on our character.

Duplicitous liars: those who lie to others about their values.

They say they are committed to being someone or doing something, but their actions prove otherwise. “Duplicitous” comes from the Latin word for “twofold” or “double” and is why we call this sort of liar “two-faced.” Lying about values can be even more corrosive to relationships than lying about facts.

I am telling people what kind of person I am now and in the future, so they can count on me to act in certain ways.

Some of the most important decisions in peoples’ lives are guided by this confidence—decisions to spend time with someone, to love them, to make sacrifices for them, to trust them with our money, our children, our careers, or our opinions. Lying about our values undermines this basic trust.

If you trust me, you are likely to adjust your behavior based on what I say. If I encourage you to invest in a particular stock or discourage you from applying for a particular job, you will choose to limit your future options based on my advice: you’ll forgo other investment opportunities or forego the one job in favor of others.

As in the case of lying about facts, the information age places limits on how long someone can sustain lying about their values. When it becomes evident that there is a disconnect between someone’s professed values and their actions, it is difficult to trust their word ever again.

Delusional liars: those who lie to themselves about facts.

We also lie to ourselves. You might tell yourself that your curt response to someone wasn’t insensitive, or that you didn’t take more than your fair share of dessert, or that you contributed more to the team project than you did.

However, not all self-deception is created equal. There’s a difference between the commonplace lying that mentally healthy people engage in and the kind of self-deception that marks mental illnesses like schizophrenia or manic depression.

In his novel, , Dostoevsky wrote, “Above all, don’t lie to yourself. The man who lies to himself and listens to his own lie comes to a point that he cannot distinguish the truth within him, or around him, and so loses all respect for himself and for others.” Why do people lie to themselves.

The motives for self-deceit are various. They include insulating ourselves from uncomfortable truths and convincing ourselves of comfortable ones.

Parents try to convince themselves that their children really aren’t badly behaved. Mediocre players try to convince themselves they’re really vital to the team.

Lying to ourselves can also be a way of reconciling contradictory beliefs. Psychologists call the uncomfortable state of holding two conflicting ideas, “cognitive dissonance.” For instance, let’s say you meet members of a doomsday cult.

They’re so sure Armageddon is nigh that they quit their jobs, sell everything they own, and do everything their cult leader says. (It is, after all, the only way they can save their souls in the apocalypse to come.) 30 days pass, and thankfully the world doesn’t end.

What will they do the day after the world was supposed to have ended. The cult members believed with all their hearts that the world would end, but it obviously didn’t.

Let’s go get a Starbucks. ” Not likely.

When midnight struck and no cataclysm occurred, the group sat in stunned silence. Then, someone realized a clock was five minutes late.

They sat awkwardly for a few minutes longer, awaiting imminent destruction. Obviously, nothing happened.

The group leader announced she received a message from an alien planet that told her, “The little group, sitting all night long, had spread so much light that God had saved the world from destruction.” Hooray.

Lying to themselves was easier than admitting they were wrong all along. Lying to oneself about an apocalypse that didn’t happen is silly, but the ability for self-deception can, at times, be a surprisingly valuable asset.

By getting others to believe in his version of reality, they sometimes put their doubts aside and took his confidence on faith. According to his former publicist, Andy Cunningham, “When you worked with Steve Jobs, everything that seemed impossible he made possible, or he made you make it possible, which was even more important.”.

Jobs’ mind-melting superpower included his ability to manipulate his own beliefs as much as others’. All the great entrepreneurs I’ve met have the power to activate their own reality distortion fields.

Unfortunately, all the worst entrepreneurs also have this capability. Theranos founder and Jobs wannabe, Elizabeth Holmes, her reality distortion field like a Jedi master of confabulation.

If we believe with enough fervor, we can motivate ourselves and others to create the future. The difference between a prophet and a false prophet is not necessarily who is telling the truth, but rather who is better at convincing themselves and others to work at making their vision a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Demoralized liars: those who lie to themselves about their values.

Among other things, they want to see themselves as more diligent, honest, or trustworthy than they really are. They say they are committed to working hard, telling the truth, or , but their actions say otherwise.

The word “integrity” has its roots in the Latin word “integritas,” meaning “intact.” It describes a whole that isn’t weakened or compromised. A crack in a foundation compromises the integrity of a building.

When the integrity of a whole is compromised, parts of it are divided from each other, and the whole is weaker as a result—a building is more likely to collapse, a ship to sink.

When we lie to ourselves about our values, we are introducing a division within ourselves. If we are insincere in our stated commitments, or if we fail to follow through on them, we create a rift in our lives—either between our words and our intentions or between our current intentions and our future actions.

The implication in either case is that we don’t fully respect ourselves. either we don’t take our values seriously, or we don’t take our actions seriously.

Recall that our values are a way of shaping our future—at least those aspects of it in our control. When we say we’re committed to being diligent, honest, or trustworthy, we’re saying our future selves will be structured by these commitments and that the people we’ll be in five, ten, or twenty years from now won’t differ in these respects from the people we are today.

If our actions don’t line up with our commitments, then either who we are today or who we become tomorrow represents a failure. Either our future fails to hit the target our current values are aiming at, or our current values fail to aim at the right future target.

Our integrity (or lack thereof) impacts not just our own lives but others’ too. It’s hard to respect people who don’t respect themselves, and, as we’ve seen, failing to live with integrity is a way of disrespecting ourselves.

View this design on +66 products.

View this design on +66 products.

Quote: Mistake: Choose.. The author didn’t say that There is a mistake in the text of this quote The quote belongs to another author Other error Comments: Email for contact (not necessary): Submit Quotes–>.

Search below. Search designs and products.

Explore geeky science posters.

mark twain pins. mark twain quote pins.

easier pins. fool people pins.

5 out of 5 stars. 5 out of 5.

4 star.

Customer Reviews, including Product Star Ratings help customers to learn more about the product and decide whether it is the right product for them. To calculate the overall star rating and percentage breakdown by star, we don’t use a simple average.

It also analyzed reviews to verify trustworthiness.

5.0 out of 5 stars Images in this review. Sort reviews by Top reviews Most recent Top reviews.

There was a problem filtering reviews right now. Please try again later.

I really liked the book. I clearly got your point that we don’t have to be normal as the world expects but should be abnormal as God expects.

The chapter about doing it all clearly shows you can do whatever your heart desires by having a plan in place and setting your priorities. And of course nothing can be done without a relationship with God, praying is our direct connection.Well done, Mercedes.

An easy read that is an encouragement to women. This book will definitely have you examining your life and what’s important.

Thank you Mercedes for your truth it helped me to realize I am not alone. I am blessed and it’s ok to be abnormal.

Great Book.

Many of the chapters related to me personally and shed some light on many of the misconceptions. Thanks for the read.

Quick read that makes you reflect on your own actions and how you value yourself. Love the thought provoking questions throughout.